Well, It Sounded Like a Good Idea

by - October 25, 2011

Hi. I'm back.

So if you've been following my journey through Postpartum Depression, either through my random texts or emails to you or through occasional Twitter posts, you know that it's an ongoing process. I don't know when PPD is technically over and the woman is just left dealing with crazy. However, over the past month I felt I'd arrived and last week decided to go off medication. I was already on a fairly low dose, so I figured tapering down to zero would be no problem.

I. Flipped. A Lid.

Who knows why. Maybe I needed to slow down the process or maybe the cold meds and a house full of sickies were just bad timing, but I've decided that it's okay if I still need a little help. There's no pride to be had by doing it all on my own, and if a little medication enables me to be a better wife and mom - and to actually like myself - then so be it. Considering I've dealt with anxiety my whole life without treatment, it's probably even a good idea.

I feel a little embarrassed sharing all this, which shows me that the stigma around PPD and other disorders is real. No one wants to be marginalized or have their thoughts and emotions taken less seriously simply because they are dealing with depression. It wasn't until I shared with a community group that I was struggling that several women privately shared with me their own histories with depression and PPD. Why did I not already know this about them? I realize that these are very personal issues, but especially in the case of mothering an infant, help is needed. Being home feeding a small, helpless babe around the clock is already so isolating. When PPD is thrown into the mix, it is nearly intolerable.

Two weekends from now (November 5), I'm hosting a brunch for the women in my church to share their experiences or their fears of Postpartum Depression. I'm doing this because we don't talk about it, especially in church. Hopefully this brunch will help us learn how to support each other and be better educated on the signs of PPD and when to seek help. If you are in the Raleigh area and want to join us, send me note and I'll get the details to you.

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2 comments

  1. Hang in there Paige! Wish I could give you a hug. I haven't dealt with PPD so much as just plain old depression issues for the past 8 years and it takes a lot of guts to be on medication, especially when you realize it might not be for just an isolated, out of the ordinary time in life, but might instead be a longer term fact about you. And it is a shame it isn't talked about more because every woman our age I know well is dealing with or has dealt with depression and anxiety and is on meds and/or in therapy (or have recently stopped). I hope your brunch goes well!!

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  2. Thanks, Krista. It does take guts to be on medication. No joke about that.

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